Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Zija... Drink Life In
Seeing as my comments box was spammed by the newest drinkable discovery of Mother Nature's nutrition, I thought I'd share my thoughts on Zija.
The first thing I noticed about the new Zija brand green nutrition ooze is that it "Nourishes the eyes and brain." Wow, my eyes and brain have been waiting for just that. My current canned nutrition ooze Xena only nourishes my eyes with her mastery of swords and scantily dressed large framed body.
But I still had a few questions, most importantly-- What are the small particles in my Zija drink? Thankfully, this question is answered on their FAQs page. You see...
Of course! I knew it was probably the seed cake powder, but I wanted to hear it from them to be sure.
Okay, okay, okay, but can I order a twenty pack of audio CDs explaining more about Zija and Zija's seed cake powder? I can? For only $14.95!? Why that's a steal for 19 more CDs than I can even use!
So how much do your unevaluated, bogus claims cost, honestly?
Only $90 with shipping for 30 cans. Why that's only $1,080 a year to fill my body with outlandishly gross juice.
But really, it's the testimonials that sold me...
Seeing as my comments box was spammed by the newest drinkable discovery of Mother Nature's nutrition, I thought I'd share my thoughts on Zija.
The first thing I noticed about the new Zija brand green nutrition ooze is that it "Nourishes the eyes and brain." Wow, my eyes and brain have been waiting for just that. My current canned nutrition ooze Xena only nourishes my eyes with her mastery of swords and scantily dressed large framed body.
But I still had a few questions, most importantly-- What are the small particles in my Zija drink? Thankfully, this question is answered on their FAQs page. You see...
The Zija drink is a beverage and not a juice. The small particles are parts of the Moringa leaf powder, the leaf paste, the fruit powder and the seed cake powder.
Of course! I knew it was probably the seed cake powder, but I wanted to hear it from them to be sure.
Okay, okay, okay, but can I order a twenty pack of audio CDs explaining more about Zija and Zija's seed cake powder? I can? For only $14.95!? Why that's a steal for 19 more CDs than I can even use!
So how much do your unevaluated, bogus claims cost, honestly?
Only $90 with shipping for 30 cans. Why that's only $1,080 a year to fill my body with outlandishly gross juice.
But really, it's the testimonials that sold me...
I feel much better every day.
ISAAC
I have more energy!
ELAINE
Since I have been on Zija, I notice Zija is helping my body stay in balance.
TERRIE
Zija has made me feel balanced!
ERNIE
Zija has most definitely helped me!
RICHARD